


One bed, three idiots

by TalesOfMagicAndChaos



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bickering, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Multi, Sharing a Bed, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:33:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29227035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalesOfMagicAndChaos/pseuds/TalesOfMagicAndChaos
Summary: At first, these vacations seemed like an excellent idea. Sharing a room with only one bed wasn't in the plan though.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Kudos: 41





	One bed, three idiots

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "Vacation home + there was only one bed" submitted by lokistrk on Twitter! (yes, vacation room somehow turned into hotel room oops)

"YOU HAVE TO BE SHITTING ME."

Stephen sighed, watching Tony's dismayed face. Despite the situation, he had to admit his devastated look was quite comical.  
Before he could answer, though, another voice made itself heard behind Tony. 

"May I know why Anthony is screaming his head off and, more important, why are you two in MY room?"

Stephen scoffed.

"it's more like MY room. I was here first. I'm the one who should ask you this question." As if to prove his words, he showed with a gesture of his arm his belongings already magically tidied in the large wardrobe.

Tony seemed to wake up from his consternation.

"I already said to you, it's MY room. FRIDAY checked for me and everything, there's no mistake.", he said, shaking his head. "Besided, I don't know if you two managed to enter by magic or whatever but I'm the one with the pass for the room."

Loki raised a sceptical eyebrow. 

"I'm curious to know how you obtained this", Loki waved his hand, making his pass appear. "Because I'm obviously the one with the true pass."

Stephen made a few steps in their direction, starting to get frankly annoyed. He showed them a third pass. 

"I really don't know what game you two are playing but it's starting to get on my nerves." He pointed to the door. "So you two douchebag better get the fuck out of here and find someone to help you find your room if you're not capable to do it by yourself!"

Loki raised his hands, ready to fight. 

"I beg your pardon?! It's clearly you two who should get out of there, I'm not idiotic like you to confound my hotel room for someone else's!"

With a snap of his fingers he emptied the wardrobe and put Stephen's possessions back in the suitcase. Immediately, Stephen responded by putting back his belongings where they were. 

"Don't touch my stuff, it's MY room, idiot!"

"What the hell, Harry Potter? It's mine!" 

"No mine, nitwit!" 

"No mine!" 

"Mine!" 

"Mine!" 

"Mine!" 

"Mine!" 

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Asshole!" 

"Douchebag!" 

"You complete moron!" 

"You dipstick!" 

After a long moment, where they kept exchanging witty, clever and very relevant arguments, Tony finally stopped, raising his hand in sign of peace. 

"Ok, ok. Calm down, Gandalf and Saruman. I'll definitely prove it's my room so we can settle this ridiculous argument.", he looked at the two sorcerers watching him suspiciously. "FRIDAY? Can you tell us whose room it is?"

"Yes, Boss." The voice made a short pause. "The room 107 is marked as Mr. Laufeyson," Loki grinned and was going to let out a victorious exclamation when the AI continued. "..., Mr. Stark and Mr. Strange's room on the hotel's registers."

"... What?"

"This hotel room is reserved for Mr. Strange, Mr. Laufeyson and you, Sir."

Stephen shook his head in disbelief.

"I can't believe it, how is this possible?! We were not informed of... This!"

Loki groaned, this situation was starting to be seriously irritating.

"Who was the stupid incompetent in charge of reserving for the stay?! I think I'll need to have a little discussion with this imbecile."

"For once I agree with you. I have a few things I would like to tell them as well.", approved Stephen. 

Tony gulped.

"Guys… It's Natasha who was in charge of reserving the rooms."

"..." 

"Oh."

And then there was silence.  
A thick and awkward silence.

"You know what... After all, it's a large room."

"Yeah, a very large room. There's enough space for the three of us, no need to make a fuss about it."

"Agree, it's not that important, really, it's not necessary to bother the Agent Romanoff for such silly details."

"Yep. She definitely has other things more important to consider. And it's a nice room, great decoration..."

"Indeed." 

After another uncomfortable silence, shorter this time though, Tony stretched his arms.

"Anyway! I'm warning you, I'm sleeping in the middle, I don't care if you fall from the bed!"

Loki frowned.

"No way. It's obviously me who should sleep in the middle"

"Oh, and why so, princess?", asked Tony with arms akimbo.

"Because, I'm obviously the one whose sleep is the most important and you two are too-"

Once again, Stephen sighed. He couldn't believe he had to put up with such morons. It was going to be a very long stay. 

\------------------------------------------------

"Loki, get the fuck away from me, you're fucking COLD."

"YOU, get away from me, second-class wizard! You're taking the whole space!" 

"Nonsense! You're the one spreading yourself out as if you were alone."

Tony turned around, annoyed. 

"Can't you two SHUT THE FUCK UP. There's people trying to sleep!" 

"Don't stick your oar in, asshole. I remind you you're the one taking the whole fucking blanket when it's supposed to be large enough for three people!" 

"So what?! I'm cold!" 

"YOU HAVE THE SIZE OF A SMURF FOR GOD'S SAKE." 

\------------------------------------------------

"Pssst. Hey… are you sleeping?" 

"Shut the fuck up, Stark."

"So that's a no."

"..." 

"I'm going to fucking kill you two." 

\------------------------------------------------

"WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A SNAKE IN THE BED OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE."

\------------------------------------------------

"Hey, who's sleeping on my left?" 

"Tony… You're the one the most on the left…."

"We're both on your right."

"..."

"WHAT-" 

\------------------------------------------------

"..."

"..."

"Is he… Is he floating while sleeping?!" 

"Honestly, don't ask me…" 

\------------------------------------------------

"I have no idea whose foot it is, but if the person could move it from my face, IT WOULD BE NICE."

\------------------------------------------------

"Is this the good time to warn you I sometimes speak during my sleep?"

"So you REALLY NEVER SHUT UP?!" 

\------------------------------------------------

"HOLY FUCK YOU FUCKING SOMNAMBULIST ASSHOLE, I NEARLY DIED FROM SURPRISE."

\------------------------------------------------

"Does the Cloak sleep too?" 

"... I won't even bother answering this."

\------------------------------------------------

"... Why is there someone on the ceiling?" 

"Hm? Don't worry, it's only Peter." 

"HOW-" 

\------------------------------------------------

"Why… Why is there a damn KNIFE under the pillow?!" 

\------------------------------------------------

Clint couldn't stop laughing. 

"I can't believe you actually put these three together in the same room! You're really devilish."

Natasha simply smirked, satisfied. She took another sip from his cup of tea, quietly listening and observing everyone's reaction. 

"I must admit I'm surprised we didn't see them throw a tantrum… I was prepared for a scene, a true storm or at least something… But they didn't seem to react at all.", said Steve, shaking his head in disbelief. 

Sam chuckled. 

"If you want my opinion, they were too scared by Natasha to dare say anything."

"Maybe… Or perhaps, they were not that displeased with the situation..", suggested the Russian spy, hiding a knowing smile behind her cup. 

"Still…" Bruce seemed worried. "It's past 11 am. They should already be out of bed now…" 

Steve put his hand on the doctor's shoulder.

"Do you want us to go verify if they're alright?"

Bruce nodded. 

"Yeah. Let's do this." 

\------------------------------------------------

"So? You can see something?" 

"How did you manage to enter without the pass…"

"Bold of you to assume I can't open any closed door."

"Shh! I'm trying to hear if they're here…" 

Clint opened the door wider, discreetly entering, followed by the others. 

"I don't see anything, maybe they're not-…" 

"They're not what? Oh-" 

The group of curious simply stared at them, dumbstruck, for a few minutes. 

"Well… Seems like they got along well finally." 

\------------------------------------------------

These certainly were the best holidays Loki, Tony and Stephen ever had.  
Of course, it had no link with the fact they were sharing the same room and bed.  
Of course, it had no link with the fact they woke up tenderly cuddled and snuggled to each other every morning.  
Of course, it had no link with the fact they hadn't slept this well in a very, very, very long time.  
Of course, it had no link with the fact they kept sleeping together even after these holidays. 

And, of course, it was pure coincidence if Natasha later received a box of his favorite rare tea, several new suits perfect for fighting and a whole set of prized daggers. Pure coincidence. 

As much of a coincidence as the rooms' repartition.


End file.
